Dave Thomas
Post: Mr. D Thomas
20 Rosebery Avenue
Waterloo
Liverpool
L22 2BH
e-mail: CMSDTHOM@livjm.ac.uk
”Help! Help! I‘m trapped
inside this StrongHelp file!• (humour)
World-Wide Web pages :
http://www.cms.livjm.ac.uk/www/homepage/cmsdthom/index.htm
Catch me on IRC #acorn as flash. :-)
Creation notes Release notes
feck! arse!
Why flash?
Hmm, I dunno really. Perhaps because flash‘ is about the last thing someone will think of when looking at me. Generally they think something like What a sad man‘, His coat is too large‘ or they just don't see me at all. So now you know, which is more than I do.
yacoatstoobig
His coat is too large‘
To observers, I seem to be constantly wearing large, thick coats. Even in the middle of summer, when it's 105° in Lab C, I wear my large coat. It's rare that I take it off, even when I'm working.
iamtheinvisibleman
I Am The Invisible Man¹
People cannot see me, or rather, their minds refuse to see me. Examples (note the recurring 'bus' motif) :
· I was on the bus, my sister got on, she walked passed me, she didn't see me.
· I was on the bus, my friend John got on, I said "Hey John!", he ignored me² and sat down just a few rows back from me. He failed to notice me for the whole journey.
· I was in Lab A, I was standing next to the lecturer, I said "Hey Stu, will you mark my work now?". He walked out of the door and went to lunch.
Thus, I am the invisible man, maybe.
¹ Except to psychotic/drunk/old people.
² I'll admit John is a special case though.
John O'Rourke
The ”Maths Buffer• Theory
My earnest colleague, James Sinnott, first postulated his theorem that John O'Rourke, under certain conditions¹ lives some 5-10 minutes behind actual time. Based on evidence collected in our A-level Maths class, we proposed that John has, in effect, a ”Maths Buffer• which means that any questions asked of him, will be greeted with a blank stare, a chew of his self-propelling-pencil and a ”Squeak, um-er, is it 10-to-the-x ?•-style answer. He would later ”pop out• the correct answer when nobody wanted it. It is possible that given the existence of John's Maths Buffer, that it was also in operation in other situations².
¹ Maths lessons, in fact.
² When on Buses, for example.
Lab C
Lab C: The Lab of the Devil‘
Lab C is not a well-ventilated room. This might not be a problem in a room full of quality Acorn machines, but Lab C is full of 486s and Pentiums. This means that, even with the fans on¹ the room is ”expletively• hot². If the room is ”expletively• hot, this means the people are also ”expletively• hot, thus sweaty, hence Lab C smells of BO. BO and Pentiums/Windows 3.1 is not a combination that I relish.
Lab B is much better, there's never more than three people in there, as it's full of Unix boxen. It's a pity the ceiling fan makes a nasty clunking sound 25 times a second.
Lab A machines will not connect to anything external. Lab C may be the devil, but at least you'v |
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